New Year Resolutions, “More vs Less,” Binary Choices, Velocity and Scraping the Jealousy and Grievances Barnacles
Dear Bank of Prairie Village Community~
Like sled racing downhill, we find ourselves projected into 2025.
Some argue 2024 seemed like a decade rolled into a year. Regardless, 2024 is behind us. A New Year awaits~ full of wonders and possibilities.
Many argue the new year should be the starting point for New Year Resolutions and “behavioral changes.” I.e. exercise, laugh and read more, eat, drink, and spend less, etc.
I hate behavior modification. In particular, behavior changes to start on a specific date. It seems artificial. Artificialness makes the desire to accomplish such changes less compelling.
I clearly understand I cannot continue with my “Holiday month-long whirlwind behavior of socializing” ~ with its attendant eating and drinking opportunities.
However, I believe January should not be viewed as a binary change month. Rather I believe January should be a “Recovery month, from the eating, drinking and spending overindulgences of the past Holidays.”
My goal is not to change my whole behavior, but simply to “get back to a more normal baseline level” of non-holiday season consumption.
In my high school Drivers Education class, we were repeatedly warned about “highway speed velocization.” This was the concept that after spending hours on the highway driving 75 miles an hour, it can be hard to adjust back to driving at a normal 35 mph within the city limits. Your brain may think 75 mph is normal.
To me a realistic January goal, is simply to “Develocitize” from Holiday’s food, drink and merriment 75 mph velocity. Once you get back to normal non-Holiday 35 mph consumptions, you can decide in April or May whether you want to start the diet and/or new work out. (After all~ Summer will soon be coming and your swimsuit will not be getting bigger.)
For those thinking my views of New Year’s resolutions are too cavalier, I still assert, if you must make a life changing resolution~ make it non-binary.
Rather, I suggest a good resolution being “to change one aspect of one’s life view.”
Specifically, this year, I suggest we examine whether to continue carrying the old animosities and grudges we acquired as unneeded baggage and barnacles over our life’s journey.
All of us have grievances against certain people. Early career bosses who were intolerable. High school and college jealousies we have nurtured decade after decade. Advisors who we blame for telling us to take one path or another.
Sometime when the demons come at night, they whisper in my ear how I should “tell off” my perceived antagonists~ assuming I ever see them again. These night demons help me construct the perfect “put down” for each.
Yes, petty grievances are acquired one by one over a lifetime~ like a ship’s barnacles. Eventually, these barnacles accumulate to the point where correctly steering the ship becomes insurmountable~ absent a good barnacle scrubbing.
My most recent New Year’s resolutions have been attempts to scrub any barnacles of pettiness, jealousy and contempt acquired over the past year.
This is easy. I tell myself to “turn the page” and “always face forward.”
That said, I rarely have the fortitude to scrap long-held barnacles dating back to my formative youth. I still remember and have kept high school and college jealousies and grievances.
This past year, the opportunity to relinquish one such petty jealousy arose. The scenario was in Salina at the Country Club Men’s Grille. I had ordered takeout for my parents and was having a beer waiting on their order. To my left was a guy doing the same.
We struck up a congenial conversation. Both enjoyed each other’s camaraderie. After about 15 minutes I stuck out my hand and introduced myself. My new friend did the same.
As we each shook hands, each processed the other’s name. Suddenly there was the hushed silence of a very awkward moment. Both of us flashed back to the high school year of 1975~ when we attempted to simultaneously date the same girl. She played us off like a fiddle. She took great enjoyment in making us homicidally jealous of the other.
My competitor stayed in Salina after school. For years I watched how he built an incredible HVAC business. Said high school girlfriend moved from Salina upon graduation and is long forgotten. However, each time I saw one of his ubiquitous business trucks, my stomach tightened, and jealousy took control.
I could see his brain had done the same name/memory recognition and carried the same competitive jealousy. We both just stared at each other. The old “fight or flight” syndrome was clearly forming.
As my brain whirled, I suddenly said, “Jerry I have watched your business grow, and you have done an amazing job making it into an incredible operation. You sure have done well.”
Jerry smiled and said, “I have heard Bolen you are banker in Kansas City and likewise doing well.”
With that we bought each other a beer.
In short, a long-held barnacle was scrapped and the hatchet buried. I felt my load lighter for it.
As we careen into 2025, let’s 1) scrape barnacles acquired over the past year, and 2) work on scrapping the barnacles accumulated over our lifetimes.
With fewer barnacles to impede our steering, let’s sail our ship of ’25 into fair seas and calm waters.
Thank you for letting us be your bank and bankers~ and our very best for a coming year full of wonderous memories.
