“When Life Slows and Turns Sweet” vs. “Work Smarter Not Harder”
Dear Bank of Prairie Village Shareholders and Clients ~
In the past month, I had the opportunity to attend the 60th Birthday Party for a very successful Kansas City Business Leader.
He gave a short thank you to all who came, and then a very brief observation. “As I turn 60, it seems time is slowing down. I am suddenly seeing things almost from a different perspective. I am realizing little moments, and actions seem to be more endearing and enjoyable~ as if life is almost sweeter.”
He gave for an example, a recent Turkey Hunting trip with his son in the Flint Hills. He noted, “Although we did not get a turkey, and may not have even seen one, I mentioned to my son how much I appreciated just spending the time with him in the Flint Hills.”
He contrasted this experience with prior hunts, where not getting a Turkey would be a complete disappointment.
Driving home from his birthday party and the next day afterwards, I kept coming back to his comments.
I had always associated life slowing down and the moments becoming sweeter, with friends who are in retirement, or pushing a much higher birthday number. Likewise with grandparents and great grandparents~ who doddle over their grandchildren.
What was different about my friend’s comments at his 60th birthday party, is I am pretty sure he has not slowed down much in his business or personal life. His enterprise keeps getting bigger, his deals are more complex, and he is opening new national and international offices. Most of all he is staying on top of a constantly changing industry.
He is one of the last guys I think of as slowing down. What was even more startling to me, is that I completely identified with every word he as saying, (including his hunting example,) even though I am confident I am not slowing down as a businessman and banker.
In my secret moments, I agree, things I’ve driven by all my life, moments I always took for granted, and situations like hunting trips without the desired results I no longer find frustrating but enjoying.
The answer begs the question. If one is not slowing down, mentally, physically, or in business or family life, why does it at times feel like time and the world are moving more slowly and allowing more time for observation, reflection and yes, moments of simple satisfaction?
One could easily argue, it is all an optical self-delusion. As much as you hate admitting it, you are no longer going as hard and fast as you once were. I would normally agree with this self-delusion thesis, except, as I said, I know my newly minted 60-year-old friend is not slowing down in the least~ and yet he is experiencing the same slowing sensation.
Work Smarter Not Harder
While I was contemplating this confusing dilemma, I attended a CEO roundtable, where the speaker mentioned, “right out of school every young sales professional is completely confused and confounded. They realize they are not prepared for the sales world, and they are simply hanging on by the seat of their pants and trying hard to both grind and figure it out.”
He said, “This is particularly true for the first 3 years out, at which time they begin to notice patterns particularly among the successful sales people, and begin to emulate their actions and behaviors. Eventually they receive a little success, which begins to focus them on what works and what does not. After about 5 years or so, they have developed their style, their work habits and their ‘understanding of what is necessary to achieve their desired level of success.’”
One of the CEOs commented his observations were that the classic “work smarter not harder” edicts are currently very in vogue. Although the work smarter not harder edict makes sense and seems to be quoted by every business school graduate, I often find it is an excuse to cut corners in time and commitment. I.e., an excuse to leave the office early, or to shortcut project preparation.
I always like the edict~ “work as hard as you possibly can and as smart as you possibly can.” In this way, you are assured of getting ahead. I should add the addendum that “every day and every way, you should work very hard trying to learn how to work smarter.” In this way you will not only get ahead, but you will stay ahead.
Thinking about this enough, I realized it was the answer to the “still working hard, but the world seems to be slowing down and more enjoyable dilemma.”
For the successful 60-year-old Birthday Boy, he has learned from experience what to worry about and what not to worry about. There will always be competition and change in business. If you live with and stare at these two headed monsters long enough you realize they are not going away.
There will never be a point where new competition is not landing on your shore, and there will never be a point where you can live on your laurels but must change with the clients and the market. Eventually you figure out how to stay relevant and change. When change is constant for so many years, after a while it just feels like doing daily business, and it does not feel like change.
The same is true, for a variety of business concerns. If you live with them and deal with them for years~ after a while they do not seem so scary.
I wager the same is true in one’s personal life. Remember the time you signed your first mortgage? How you stayed up trying to figure out how to make the payment. Remember when you had your first child and visualized all the dining outs and vacations you had to give up just to put the kids through Day School? Then you discover with all the new kid activities you never missed the pre-kid vacations and dining outs?
After a while you figure it out and move on to the next major change in the life crisis cycle. Slowly as the decades roll by, the life crisis cycle remains always there but its constant presence no longer seems scary.
By age 60 you have seen the life cycle on your parents and their generation, you have lived the life crisis cycle yourself and with your friends, and as you worry about your children, you will see they usually figure out how to deal the point in the lifecycle they are confronting.
Velocity. In Driver Education Class you may recall, they taught you if you drive on I-70 for 5 hours you become used to seeing and acting at the high speed of 75 mph. Accordingly, when you pull off, you have to mentally remind yourself to slow down to the normal city speed of 35 mph. This is called being velocitized.
What they did not tell you was if you are so used to driving 75 mph, year after year, eventually, you get so used to it that you begin to relax with the speed. You will first start seeing things on the road, and then things off the road, you may not have initially noticed.
I think life is a bit like that. After a while, even if you maintain your same speed in life, your apprehensions diminish. You learn to deal with the constant challenges in business or personal life, and not spend all your time worrying about them. Once the worry and angst diminishes, you can relax a little. Suddenly the world feels like it is slowing a bit, and suddenly you can notice and take pleasure in the sweetness of things you either did not appreciate or you overlooked while worrying about the future.
Growing up I spent a great deal of time watching my great grandparents sitting in complete contentment.
Frankly, I felt sorry for them as I was thinking they were feeling bad they had nothing to do.
What I missed then but now understand, was not the fact they had nothing to do, but they had learned to enjoy the time between having to do things.
In short, they had learned how not to diminish a sweet moment, by worrying about stuff either in the past or in the future they could not control at that very minute. They had learned the art of slowing the world down~ even just in moments to savor its sweetness.
If there is ever a time when the world seems to slow and offers us its sweeter moments~ Summer is certainly it. By contrast, with kids out of school, travel, vacations, camps, etc., Summer can seem like the busiest of times. This Summer lets be on guard, even when most busy, to put anxieties and apprehensions away, and just enjoy the sweet moments between the bustle.
Yours in enjoying a Summer full of the sweetness of life,
Dan Bolen ~ Chairman
Bank of Prairie Village
“The Bank of Prairie Village ~ Home of Blue Lion Banking” ~ cited March 2020, April 2021, April 2022, April 2023 and April 2024 by the by the Kansas City Business Journal as one of the “Safest Banks in Kansas City for Your Money.”
Small Batch Banking ~ Once Client at a Time.
